2020: The Year of the Vibrator.

I suppose you could say I’ve always been… toy curious.

You see, I’ve always had a difficult reaching orgasm whether it’s with a finger, a tongue, vaginally or otherwise. I just can’t get off.

It’s something I live with and I choose to focus on the many other amazing aspects of intercourse, without putting the pressure on myself to climax.

You might be thinking:

“your partner should try harder to help you climax”

or

“your partner doesn’t know what they’re doing

or

“i usually just cum from intercourse.., fingering kinda weirds me out”

(ok, sex unicorn)

False, at least in my case. 

I’ve had partners push themselves past the point of exhaustion. An ex-boyfriend used to literally get finger cramps from fingering me for so long (#cringe). Even with all that effort, I only came every so often and it was physically exhausting (& sometimes painful) for both of us. 

Like I said, it doesn’t really bother me much, ever since I discovered…  

[[ cue angels singing ]]

V I B R A T O R S

If you claim to be one of those rare unicorns (I happen to know quite a few…) that are able to orgasm vaginally with a partner, you may not have ever tried a vibrator. Well hunni, let 2020 be the year you see the light.

When I started to really pursue my first orgasm, I was still a virgin, maybe 19 or 20. After hearing enough about how AMAAAZING “The Big O” was, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m not proud to say that my first experimentation with sex toys was downloading a “sensual vibrations” app, putting my phone in a ziplock bag, and hoping for the best. When that option almost immediately proved unsatisfactory, I purchased my first real vibrator.

I don’t remember where I got it from but I know it was something cheap from online, and I was terrified of what the packaging would look like when it arrived at my door. It was your basic run-of-the-mill vibrating dildo. It took disposable batteries. 3 AAs if I remember correctly. I went through a lot of batteries that year until the motor finally gave out. RIP old friend.

After that, I found my next toy by way of some salaciou Cosmo rticle along the lines of “I tried 7 different vibes with my boyfriend – you won’t believe which one was our favorite!!” More than anything, this article sold me a soft core porn fantasy of what my imaginary partner would be like if only I had this vibrator. $60 later and this time, I wasn’t as afraid of the packaging. 

This little guy was a unique two-pronged number meant for pinching and playing with your clit with a partner. It had two *very* strong motors and when it sat in its charger, it vaguely resembled one of those designer toys. I displayed it somewhat discreetly, but strategically near my bed so that someone in the right place at the right time might ask what it was…

Lil dude served me well for literal years, now that I think about it…. (is that gross?) and finally clunked out a few months ago. Since then, I’ve put off buying a new vibrator for the sake of saving money, but over the last couple of weeks I knew the time was drawing near when I would need to get back on the vibrating horse. 

Flush with Christmas cash I marched straight into Lover’s Lane and boldly told the salesgirl that I was looking for a new vibrator. That may seem a little direct but really, does anyone go into a sex shop to browse? I feel like that’s potentially creepier. So anyway, I told her I needed a new vibrator and I told her what I like.

She immediately pointed me to a sleek toy in a special display and her face lit up. She could barely contain her excitement over this toy and said more than once that it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. At first I told her it was out of my price range and her excitement evaporated. In a last ditch effort, she told me it guaranteed an orgasm within 5 minutes, but then she said almost a bit too eagerly, “oh but don’t worry, you won’t last that long” Needless to say, I’m $100 poorer and the owner of one fancy new vibrator. Let me tell you, worth every penny ;P

So in 2020, I challenge you to take your orgasm into your own hands.

Buy yourself a vibrator.

Whether it’s online or in-person,

Cheap and small,

Sleek and luxurious,  

Get yourself a damn vibrator. Go forth, and cum.

Image courtesy of Julian Schröpel on Unsplash

Published by @austin.georgette

Just carving out a little safe space on the internet while I figure the rest out. Stay tuned for all things travel, food, meditation, and general life updates. #QuarterLifeAwakening

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